Finally getting around to honesty.

It has been increasingly difficult to keep up with the blog these days. I am finally going to tell you why.

So here is the life update:

Cory and I got married at the courthouse last June, a mere few weeks before he deployed. He will be home soon, but it has been a hard seven months without him.

We have been through a deployment before, but this one was just harder all around. In his absence, my body decided to go haywire and erupt into unrelenting hives. They got worse and worse, swelling my joints and my throat. I was unable to move during several episodes, which included mouth and facial swelling. Cory’s mother came to stay with me a few days, and so did my mom. I wouldn’t have made it through this stretch without them.

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To make matters worse, in December we abruptly lost our sweet Monkey – my senior Pomeranian who was with me for thirteen years. Having to go through that so suddenly, without Cory, while also being sick and unable to move at full capacity…it was just all too much for me.

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So I am very much looking forward to spring. I see the leaves unfurling, the buds coloring on all the flowers. I see green happening. I put my hands in the dirt and feel healing.

I have hopes that being outside with the sun and the birds and the wind and the grass will help me mend it all back together. At this point, I am simply taking it one day at a time. Trying to make plans keeps being thrown back into my face and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore, honestly. So this is me, trying something different. It may not last, but that doesn’t really matter. As of late, I’m just trying to make it until quitting time each day, so I can read my books and fall into another place.

It will get better. With time.